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[Dec 4th @ 2:49 am] omg baby i dont know what to do im enfatuated!!! ur like a drug bby u make me feel so special !!!!!! i NEVER felt like this before <3 joO 1 |♥| how I wish you were here..

never would have thought one night of blunts could change my world [Nov 23rd @ 12:34 am] [ mood | ecstatic ] wow....ummm he's perfect<3333 2 |♥| how I wish you were here..

richard geere [Aug 11th @ 4:10 pm] [ mood | bouncy ] i love work!!!! the movie pentagon is being filmed in my office...i talked to richrd geere : ( no pics sadly but he was madd coool !!!!!!!! aHHHHHHHH he's sooo handsome even in person <33 josephine 1 |♥| how I wish you were here..

[Aug 7th @ 9:03 pm] [ mood | chipper ] haha be ready to hate on thisss shittt niggaa!!!! ARUBAAA MAH NIGGUUHHZZZ YUUPPPPP!!!!! ELEVEN MOTHER FUCKING DAYYSS BITCHESSSSSSS WOOP WOOP I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!!! YAY! 1 |♥| how I wish you were here..

jewel haha maddd good song [Aug 2nd @ 2:20 pm] [ mood | awake ] "Foolish Games" You took your coat off and stood in the rain, You're always crazy like that. And I watched from my window, Always felt I was outside looking in on you. You're always the mysterious one with Dark eyes and careless hair, You were fashionably sensitive But too cool to care. You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say Besides some comment on the weather. [Pre-Chorus 1] Well in case you failed to notice, In case you failed to see, This is my heart bleeding before you, This is me down on my knees, and... [Chorus] These foolish games are tearing me apart, And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart. You're breaking my heart. You're always brilliant in the morning, Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee. Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you. You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones As I clumsily strummed my guitar. You'd teach me of honest things, Things that were daring, things that were clean. Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean. I hid my soiled hands behind my back. Somewhere along the line, I must've gone Off track with you. [Pre-Chorus 2] Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else, Somebody who gave a damn, Somebody more like myself. [Chorus] You took your coat off, Stood in the rain, You're always crazy like that. how I wish you were here..

[Aug 2nd @ 12:08 pm] [ mood | bitchy ] omg!!!! baby don't you see how perfect we could be.i wanna make you happy i wanna give you what you deserve!! why don't you want to accept it?!?!?! i love you sooo much i am going to make things right and if it doesn't work than it's you! for sure it has got to be lol i love my babyyyy im gunna do right by you boy i promise! and you know what the biggest fuckin problem with us is everyone else all of our(your) friends make it seem like havin a girl is deathly. relax (Cough cough) COSTA!!!!!! fucking asshole "ball and chain" first of all asshole ur just mad cuz ur relationship didnt last and now u aint got shit u stupid fuck so u gotta go and put thoughts in my boyfriends head and change him leave him alone with all u people smothering him he doesnt know how to just be him again! i miss my old anthony the anthony who didnt give a fuck what anyone thought! u fucking assholes fucked it up. along with me fucking it up lol oooh jesus please just help! this is my last try. im not stressing myself out anymore to try and make you see me! i've got plenty others looking already. aha!!! John Legend Ordinary People Girl im in love with you This ain't the honeymoon Past the infatuation phase Right in the thick of love At times we get sick of love It seems like we argue everyday I know i misbehaved And you made your mistakes And we both still got room left to grow And though love sometimes hurts I still put you first And we'll make this thing work But I think we should take it slow We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go Cuz we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh) This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh) This time we'll take it slow This ain't a movie no No fairy tale conclusion ya'll It gets more confusing everyday Sometimes it's heaven sent Then we head back to hell again We kiss and we make up on the way I hang up you call We rise and we fall And we feel like just walking away As our love advances We take second chances Though it's not a fantasy I Still want you to stay We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go Cuz we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh) This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh) This time we'll take it slow Take it slow Maybe we'll live and learn Maybe we'll crash and burn Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return Maybe another fight Maybe we won't survive But maybe we'll grow We never know baby youuuu and I We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go Cuz we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy) We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go Cuz we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh) This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh) This time we'll take it slow 1 |♥| how I wish you were here..

[Aug 1st @ 2:03 pm] [ mood | bored ] Over and Over LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa It’s the way it is Baby I remember a time when we were so secure but Now it’s like December when you say that I’m so insecure and I gotta get away cause’ your making me weak It’s keeping me trapped (keeping me trapped) I gotta be a fool sitting here tryna get that old thing back (thing back oh) Oh You use to keep your word was one who always did what you said You use to speak to me so sweet with something caring to say Oh, you don’t even try no more Oh, you don’t even care no more I don’t wanna love you don’t wanna need you just wanna leave you (I swear) I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over) I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over) It’s like I hate to love ya a charade we play time after time (time after time) It’s like ya love to see me confused and a mess I’m losing my mind (I’m losing my mind) I gotta get away cause’ your making me weak It’s keeping me trapped (keeping me trapped) I gotta be a fool sitting here tryna get that old thing back (thing back oh) Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh You use to keep your word was one who always did what you said You use to speak to me so sweet with something caring to say Oh, you don’t even try no more Oh, why you don’t care no more I don’t wanna love you don’t wanna need you just wanna leave you (I swear) I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over) I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over) Hey LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (La,La,La,La) LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (No I don’t wanna here it no more) LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (All the lies, Oh) LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (You, You, You use to) You use to keep your word (hey) was one who always did what you said (baby you cared) You use to speak to me so sweet (so sweet) with something caring to say (oh) Oh, you don’t even try no more Oh, why you don’t care no more I don’t (I don’t) wanna love you don’t wanna (no) need you just wanna (I wanna) leave you (I swear) I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over) I just want it to be over (Hey) I don’t (Oh) wanna love you don’t wanna need you just wanna (don’t wanna) leave you (I swear) I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over) I just want it to be over (Can it be over?) Over and Over! yesss im bored and at work so im finding ways to bitch without actually bitching!! lol 2 |♥| how I wish you were here..

[Aug 1st @ 11:38 am] [ mood | bitchy ] "Shake It Off" [Chorus] I gotta shake you off Cause the loving ain't the same And you keep on playing games Like you know I'm here to stay I gotta shake you off Just like the Calgon commercial I really gotta get up outta here And go somewhere I gotta shake you off Gotta make that move Find somebody who Appreciates all the love I give Boy I gotta shake you off Gotta do what's best for me Baby and that means I gotta Shake you off By the time you get this message It's gonna be too late So don't bother paging me Cause I'll be on my way See I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes Just ask your momma she knows You're gonna miss me baby Hate to say I told you so Well at first I didn't know But now it's clear to me You would cheat with all your freaks And lie compulsively So I packed up my Louis Vuitton Jumped in your ride and took off You'll never ever find a girl Who loves you more than me [Chorus] I gotta shake you off Cause the loving ain't the same And you keep on playing games Like you know I'm here to stay I gotta shake you off Just like the Calgon commercial I really gotta get up outta here And go somewhere I gotta shake you off Gotta make that move Find somebody who Appreciates all the love I give Boy I gotta shake you off Gotta do what's best for me Baby and that means I gotta Shake you off [Bridge] I gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it Off... I found out about a gang Of your dirty little deeds With this one and that one By the pool, on the beach, in the streets Heard y'all was Hold up my phone's breakin' up I'ma hang up and call the machine right back I gotta get this off of my mind You wasn't worth my time So I'm leaving you behind Cause I need a real love in my life Save this recording because I'm never coming back home Baby I'm gone Don't cha know [Chorus] I gotta shake you off Cause the loving ain't the same And you keep on playing games Like you know I'm here to stay I gotta shake you off Just like the Calgon commercial I really gotta get up outta here And go somewhere I gotta shake you off Gotta make that move Find somebody who Appreciated all the love I give Boy I gotta shake you off Gotta do what's best for me Baby and that means I gotta Shake you off [Bridge] </3 why do u confuse me so much!?!?!!??! </3 3 |♥| how I wish you were here..

R.I.P. [Jul 28th @ 10:40 am] [ mood | crushed ] omg...brendan man you were one of a kind! i love you man i don't know what to think still this shit is heartwrenching! u deserved more. i hope u know kid how much u were cared about. the love people have for you is rediculous it's too ad wow. i hope you were at peace. i know im not i cant believe this after that call in november i didnt think i would ever have to hear about one of my friends again. i love you brendan rest in peace. you will be missed!!!!! ((THE INFAMOUS BRENDAN!!!)) R.I.P. BRENDAN ROGERS God only takes the best... how I wish you were here..

wOw!!! [Jul 22nd @ 6:09 pm] [ mood | numb ] woah... anthony: "i'd rather have a girlfriend who does nothing for me than have you." me: ((silence)) anthony: (cont'd) "actually my bad, i'd rather have no girlfriend at all than have you." oook...and i still don't learn 5 |♥| how I wish you were here..

yesssss!!! [Jul 17th @ 4:32 pm] [ mood | calm ] life's too short, so kiss slowly, love deeply, forgive quickly, and forget the past..but not what it taught youu.. 2 |♥| how I wish you were here..

¿?¿aM i aN oPtiOn?¿? [Jul 15th @ 1:28 pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | a year from now - across five aprils ] Complete and total adoration, my gift to you, my heart was yours, in ten weeks you shaped it, in one night you murdered it. torn from my chest and laid at your feet, that first step that you took was the worst. since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark, and i still have these memories, but will never see what we could have been. remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? remember, cause that's all you can do. we'll never make another memory, we'll never make another memory. i wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together, so i wouldn't have to wake without you today. this time i thought things were real, you said they were, what happened? you were a priority, was i an option? i let you see a side of me that i don't share with anyone. promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. knew from the beginning all i had to offer you was my heart, i'm just sorry that it wasn't enough. so, we'll go our own ways, and hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you, hopefully you'll understand that everything i said is in sincerity. a broken heart is not what i wanted from this, but i guess i've learned from it. but aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? i don't consider this a mistake, i just wish the story didn't end this way, cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? *** - omg this song makes me want to leave anthony and never think about him ever again!!!! jesus christ i feel so terrible right now...i dont wanna have to feel like this again lol...i've gone through it so many times but i forget how bad it feels because it always vanishes as soon as i had him back...i know i am a young girl and blahhh blahhh whatever nobody can tell me that i am not in love because i am 16 sorry i dont care...lol i sound like a little girl right now...im sooo scared because you don't know me anymore. it's like u think im this girl that i used to be and it offends me because i've changed, i'm better than that. and because of that i feel like i don't know you! everyday i think about why i am where i am and that i don't belong. maybe i'm depressed ???? i don't know. i give you everythng i have inside of me. wow im not this girl! im constantly put down and im getting very sick of it....i used to have a lot of respect for myself i used to be strong no matter what anybody said....but ur the worst it kills meee...when is it going to be enough?? how much more can i possibly do?? im soo exhausted from trying to make you happy! go ahead call me a little girl tell me i'm just bitching on livejournal to make everyone feel bad....i dont know what else to do i dont know where else to go. i have so much anger in me...so much hate just sitting inside me waiting to fucking explode...(lol ummm yeah...) i love anthony more than anything in the world...my heart, my soul, he's everything, he's what gives me life i get up because i know that i will be with him soon. i feel so useless. jesus christ i try talking to everyone and i get all this advice and i feel so relieved but nothing works...whats left? nobody knows how i'm really feeling...i look so happy most of the time? oooh goddd i dont want to be this weak girl that depends on a guy to keep her happyyy grrrrrrr i never should have gotten myself into this i'm not this girl! i wish he really knew what i am feeling, i don't want to be a complaining whiney little girlfriend, but can i be happy too?? that's all i want. i have to start living for me, being happy for me, making myself happy because im so caught up on everyone else being happy all the time i forget about myself. but its not on some..."omg my bf doesnt love me lalalala i'm a little girl" it on some real shit like i give you everything i do everything for you constantly when am i gunna get it back? all i want is to be noticed a little maybe a random kiss evey other day. i'm just a girl who wants to be showed a little love and appreciation thats all...am i worth it? grrrrrr thats what i mean i can't help but think these thing like im not good enough or i fucked up or what can i do, im not doing enough or im doing too much!!!! i was never the girl who thought about these things lol i just went with it and whatever happened, happened. and now i've turned into this scared, angry, and mostly confused girl. i just wanna be happy and go on with life like the rest of the world -jO- (p.s. - angela you know how i said that song wasn't sad enough to cry? yeah well i listened to it 3 times in a row just now and cried straight through...lol) WOW 8 |♥| how I wish you were here..

[Jul 1st @ 2:10 pm] [ mood | frustrated ] fuckkkkk mannn...i cant take this fakeness. from everybody shit. what the fuck do i have to do? i don't know what more i can do...im wearing myself out trying so fucking hard for everyone and getting shit back. grrrrr im so angry! should i jst stop caring? that seems like the only thing i can do but then what?? i guess it would help me realize who actually cares about me. i would really like it if my boyfriend would care...or at least show it... and stop lying and making me think im a fucking psychpath!! aaaahhhhhhhhh jesus christ somebody please help me before i end up in a straight jacket or dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh grrrrr arggggg <33 huggs and kisseeeees jOoJoO 4 |♥| how I wish you were here..

PuMpiTuPp - - - - - > [Jun 28th @ 4:44 am] im a fuckin senior niggaaa!!!!!!! woop woop...i got a nice chillin summer ahead of me...aoohhhh shiiiitttt!!!!!!!!! <- - - - - - LiVeiTuPp how I wish you were here..

jesus christ help mee... [Jun 12th @ 11:28 pm] [ mood | sore ] i was just in my 3rd car accident even scarier than ;ast time anthony was driving me home and we were going through the GREEN light on yonkers ave and central and one of the street dynamics kids made a left right in front of anthony's car as soon as the car stopped i took my seatbelt off jumped out of the car and started screaming for help i couldnt breathe my whole chest caved in i dont know if my ribs are fucked up i was too scared to get them checked i have a big burn on my shoulder/chest from the seatbelt and my face is swollen, my knee is all fucked up god damnit im madd shaken up right now and to top it off all of those mother fuckers came there madd deep and tried to jusmp us they kicked ben's car and put a dent in itwow my chest really hurts i hope im alright im am sooo scared to get into a car again and im scared that these kids might try to jump us i hate this fucken city i wanna get out of here i am going to get out of here i have to start taking my life a little more seriously and stop taking it for granted because i am lucky to be alive once a fucking gain....so anthonys car is totaled oh god can life get any better??? 9 |♥| how I wish you were here..

laaieeiewwajkn [Jun 12th @ 1:26 pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | mariah carey - we belong together ] well shits just getting harder and harder as days pass i dont know what to do i hate being a kid i hate making hard decisions...i wanna be happy...but i don't wanna be lonely but i want to have fun...but i wanna keep my life the way it is just a little different...i wanna try something new...this is it...this is what everyone was talking about. im falling apart just as badly as i wanna make things right they get even worse and then the less i wanna tryyi need to straighten myself out i haveissues...i dont know myself...i know who i am with you but i dont know who i really am... and a lot of things...i wanna chill with some friends but i can't because then im a slut i cant have friends other than yours? only because they are not girls...im not a hoe ive made some stupid decisions i know that but i am not a slut and im sick and tired of being put down everyday im sick of being scared to talk or to express anything while your around u shoot me down everytime or u laugh at me and then everyone laughs i need a little more respect than that im not some other bitch ive been around to long to be taken for granted and now im just gunna let things go how they are and see where it takes us...you've changed so much and oh my god was it for the very worst...im sooo happy lately i always wanna have fun but then you come around and everytime im near you i can't help but get this naucious (i cant spell) feeling like im scared to be happy..??? jesus christ look how much u fucked me up i was a good girl just mislead and you lead me even further away baby i wanna live happy i wanna enjoy life i don't wanna worry about anyone or anything i just want everything to be ok i guess im just gunna have to wait and seee ??? 1 |♥| how I wish you were here..

J ? shhhhh [Jun 8th @ 7:28 pm] [ mood | giddy ] sooo...saw an old friend today...that was refreshing it made my day a whole let better. im not going to stress it because umm just because but i just remembered a whole bunch of shit. just saw my friend again wow im gay i feel like a little girl again...i have to go out! beach saturday niggaaa!!!!!! 1 |♥| how I wish you were here..

ewww i dont hurt myself!!!!!!! [May 25th @ 8:25 pm] You need guidance. You have become very confused in your life right now and are unable to make decisions that pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't seem to get any better by whatever method you are using for now. There is a pain inside because of this and you feel helpless in your life, thinking you will never find your way back. But even though the path may seem dark you still try to find yourself, which means your inner battle is not over. What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics] brought to you by Quizilla lol im a failure at life.... how I wish you were here..

haaaahaaaahaaaaa [May 20th @ 12:48 am] Your Birthdate: December 2 Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life. The 2 is a very social number allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. You are more prone than most to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. What Does Your Birth Date Mean? AHAAAAAAAAAAAA....yooo thats pretty funny...it sucks lol how I wish you were here..

haha kinda true??? [May 17th @ 3:43 pm] The Keys to Your Heart You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. What Are The Keys To Your Heart? how I wish you were here..

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